Thursday, February 27, 2014

Would Your Kid Rather Die Than Face You When In The Wrong?

Yesterday evening I witnessed something that made my soul weep; the death of a class 7 boy (from a neighboring plot) who committed suicide by hanging himself. (May his soul rest in eternal peace). I couldn't think of anything that would make a class 7 boy want to commit suicide. And so the journalist in me sniffed around for answers. I learnt that the young boy accidentally broke a windowpane at school and his angry headteacher sent him away for good. (I thought this happens only in high schools). Anyway, the poor boy went home and hanged himself inside their house. His single mum was not around.

So you ask; Why didn't the boy wait for his mum to come home and explain to her what had happened? The neighbors told me that the mum is known for mercilessly beating up the kid anyhow; whether he's in the wrong or not. This has in over the years resulted to the boy developing deep fear for his mum. And knowing what he had done at school, the young boy opted for death rather than face the wrath of his mum.

I was lost for words! I mean, how cruel could a mother be that her own kid would rather kill himself than face her? I thought parents are supposed to discipline kids but not punish them? I'm not a mum, so I might not be in a position to judge her since I do not know what mothers go through. But from the way my parents brought me up, I know kids are supposed to be disciplined and not punished. Punishing is for God and the Lawmakers. It's not wrong to cane a kid but let him/her know why you're caning him. Any time my mum caned me (several times in fact), she always accompanied it with a piece of advice. I would hate her during the caning and swear that I would never talk to her again (very silly). But after giving me a piece of advice and explaining to me why she had to cane me, I would always ask God to forgive me for thinking bad things about her. And for the several times I was sent home for indiscipline cases, I never at one time thought of suicide. I always went home to her because I knew that she would judge me accordingly. She would first listen to my side of the story, then listen to the school's side of the story before making judgement. After this, she would know whether I needed caning or a piece of deep advice or both.

That's how it's supposed to be. Beating up a kid for no particular reason or even beating him up after doing a wrong thing without an accompanying piece of advice will not make him a good kid. It will only instil fear and hate. Eventually, you will lose him completely. You may not lose him to death but your relationship will be broken. The kid might even end up killing you. I know some kids can be a pain in the neck, but this does not give you a right to pour your venom on them. If you treat them right, they will someday come around. And even if they don't, remember they're your kids; your own blood and flesh. As I said, I may not understand what hell mothers go through with their kids. (I'm sure they go through a lot). I may not also understand why this particular mother treated her kid the way she did. But one thing I know is that your kid should not wish to be dead rather than face you when in the wrong. And that's how Neomy sees it!