Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Do Men Really Know What They Want?

It’s  1:52pm. Tuesday. June. 2014. I’ve been going over the idea of writing this article for the past 2 weeks. I’m not sure why it took me so long to come to a conclusion but now that I’ve come to one, let me write down my mind.
Do men really… really know what they want?  
Over the years I’ve heard men complain that women don’t know what they want. They will say one thing but do another.  They will say they want one thing but go for another. Or in other cases ask for something that they don’t actually know. It’s that confusing. They even used this diagram to show just how much women do not know what they want.

Well, this might have been the case a few years ago but looking at today’s woman, I think… no I actually believe that today’s woman knows what she wants, how she wants it, where she wants it and when she wants it. But today’s men, that’s another story.
I’ve been observing on social media and real life situations men say one thing but do another. Take the horse hair versus bald head/short hair situation. A high percentage of women today have turned into using weaves and wigs or horse hair as many (read men) call it. And our good men are busy complaining about this. The good men are saying that women should be proud of their natural hair and stop using horse hair; that women should go bald or have short hair or just maintain their natural long hair. You will hear and see them on social media yapping that they will go for a lady with a bald head over one covered in horse hair. The brothers actually went ahead and compared Lillian Muli and Lupita Nyong’o calling Muli a fake and my dear Lupita a natural.(I came across this on YouTube's comment section on the interview by Muli on Lupita).  But a look in real life, the same men are still going for the horse-haired woman. Most of their girlfriends and wives have more than 62 wigs and rock horse hair 36 hours a day!

Another example is the makeup situation. While it might be true that some of the sister’s overdo the makeup thingie, men should stop saying that they love women who go natural. Attend any meeting/club/church/wherever and see who the men talk to. The woman with the nicely done makeup, fake eyelashes, fake eyebrows, contact lens and fake nails will attract more/all male attention than a beautiful sister who just smeared a good lotion/Valon on her all natural face. Yes sister! They’ll go for a ‘fake’ over the ‘natural’ you. But out in the street, our good brothers will shout and claim how much they despise ladies in makeup; that they are a 'fake' and have no pride in themselves. 

The dress code situation. Do I even need to expound this? Listen to our good modern men all over the place; the internet, the streets… All over. They say that a beautiful and ‘wife material’ lady is one who dresses modestly; does not show too much skin and does not wear too tight clothes. Maybe it’s me who doesn’t know what they mean by 'modestly' but most of the men I’ve heard saying that have girlfriends/friends who walk in almost nothing. And it leaves me wondering; is there a different meaning to ‘modestly dressed’? Go to any social gathering and tell me how many men will approach ladies in long dresses covering all their skin versus those in tiny extremely body hugging dresses. 

The body size situation. I won’t even discuss this because if I do… But no, let me just mention something. Over the years, our good brothers have been saying that ‘huge’ ladies are not attractive; that they prefer petite ladies over the ‘blessed’ lady. This has seen many ladies go to the gym to attain petite bodies. But all that seems to have gone down the drain after the ‘Vera Sidika’ syndrome struck. Men are now calling petite ladies a disgrace to the African culture which should be dominated by women with an ‘African figure’. You will see the brothers compliment and share photos of women with the ‘African figure’. But behind the scenes, it’s a very different story.

What does this tell us ladies? Never do anything to please a brother. The only two people you should yearn to please are You and your Creator.
If you want to have the ‘African figure’, go on get it; If you want to be a size 8, it’s your body; If you want to wear 3 packets of horse hair at the same time, rock it girl; If you want to go the bald/short hair way, go ahead; If you want to dress modestly, get that loose-fitting dress; if you want to wear a tiny body hugging, skin revealing dress, rock it. Put on the makeup, them fake eyelashes, them fake eyebrows and them fake nails. But one thing you should ask yourself is; am I doing this for me or to conform to the idea of what men regard as the perfect lady? If you are able to answer this question to yourself, then you will be ready to answer any questions posed by others to you or by your Creator.
Whatever you decide, remember there will always be that one man for you. If a man doesn’t love how you look, he isn’t for you. Yours will come your way. And if he doesn't, he wasn't meant to. BUT Do not make the mistake of changing who you are to fit into his equation because men will say they want one thing but go for another.

So, what am I trying to say in those few boring words; if women do not know what they want, then the men are as twice clueless. In my conclusion, I’m still not sure if men really… really know what they want. Or if they do, they just don’t know that that’s actually what they want until they find themselves in a situation of actually that’s what they want. Confused? You are not alone.

PS: If you are a man who knows what he wants and acts it, forget this whole article and continue being the gentleman you are. ;)