Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Musings on Life

So, today I visited my last post and realized it’s been what… years since my last post? Wow! The blog has weed all over; the gardener (me) forgot about her favorite garden! Well, I did not forget about you sweet blog; I mean I can never forget about you. I have just been too busy with life that I’ve not had a chance to update you. You too my dear readers have been in my heart. I heart you.

Anyway, a lot has happened since my last post; I shaved my head bald. Surprise!!! The Mohawk is gone. I’m no longer the girl with a half shaved head; I grew my hair back into a beautiful natural short afro (my landlord describes me as the tenant who looks like she wants to grow dreadlocks but doesn’t want to - whatever that means); I moved back to the city in the sun – Nairobi - ; I broke a heart or two; I got married; I went back to school and last but not least, ladies and gentlemen, I met my crush Trey Songz!!!

Well, there are several lies above but that’s for you to figure out.

In short, what I want to say is that so much has happened since the last time I posted something here. Good, bad, beautiful, ugly; lessons have been learnt but most of all, life has happened.

I will tell you what I’ve learnt in those months I’ve been away; Life will never go the way we want. Never. We plan. We hope. We wish. We expect. But truth is, life will never go our way. Though we eventually make it, we realize at the end that the path our lives took was nowhere near our plan, wish or what we had hoped for. You plan to get married at 24 and be done having kids at 30. But because life takes its cause as it pleases, you find yourself getting married at 30 and having your last born at 40 or getting your last kid at 24 and getting married at 30. Such is life. It respects nobody’s plans and wishes.

Life moves on no matter what. You plan to get that dream job. You can even feel it in your heart that the job is coming your way. The feeling is almost tangible. But before you know it, the job is gone. Gone into the wind. This breaks your heart. Crushes your spirit in such a way that you feel there is no more life left for you to live. But while you’re mourning and drowning in your sorrow, life is still moving on. It doesn’t wait for you to get over your sorrow. No. It doesn’t give a damn about your shattered hopes and dreams. It moves on as if you do not exist. The moment you realize this the better; because a minute lost drowning yourself in sorrow means that you will never catch up with life. This is when we tell you ‘baba while you were away… life moved on’. Or ‘mama’ if you like.

There comes a time in life when you have to be selfish with yourself. Do not be a people pleaser. Do not give away a part of yourself to anyone who comes along. And if you do, know who is worth a part of you. Know your real friends. Friends who will stick with you no matter what. But even to those, do not give yourself away completely; know when to share your love with them and when to love YOU; know when to prioritize them and when to prioritize YOU; know when to pamper them and to pamper YOU; know when to make them happy and when to make YOU happy. Be selfish with yourself. After all, how can you love others if you don’t love YOU first? How can you make others happy if you can’t make YOU happy?

Well, this is my weird way of making a comeback! Kaseo is back!!!  And she’s got great stories and projects just for you.

PS: I am officially an aunt!!! 11 days ago my nephew, AJ, decided to come into this world and see his cool auntie. Thanks bro for making me an aunt. To baby AJ, auntie loves you so much more than you’ll ever know!